This last week was a long process of saying good-bye to my Honduranfriends, fellow volunteers, employees with whom I had worked, and thechildren that I have come to love over the past 16 months. Volunteersluckily receive their entire last week on the Ranch free of work toallow for quality time with the kids, goodbye parties, a trip toimmigration to cancel our residency, and packing. Much to my surpriseI was able to hold it together very well, up until the end with finalhugs to my Hogar girls.
I left the Ranch on Sunday for 3 ½ weeks of travel before returning tothe States. It is difficult for me to process that my time with NPH isactually over, and that I am not just on vacation for a few weeks andthen returning. Every one of my kids when I said good-bye asked me“when will you be back?” and the most painful part of that was that Ididn’t know how to answer them. If they meant returning permanently,the answer would sadly be never. And even though I have hopes to visitNPH again within the year, and see how the kids have grown, even thatis uncertain. I hate to give them a promise that I can’t keep, so thebest answer that I could come up with was “I don’t know…”
At mass during my last day on the Ranch, I was called to the frontduring announcements and presented with a beautiful wood carved plaqueas a thank you for my service. This is a moment that passes for alloutgoing volunteers, and one I have thought about occasionally over mypast 1 ½ years at NPH. But when it actually came to be my turn,standing up there in front of all the kids who had challenged me andtaught me so much during my time in Honduras, I had no idea how toproperly convey my feelings. These kids see so many caregivers,volunteers, and visitors come in and out of their lives every few daysto years. It amazes me that they can still so willingly open theirhearts to give and receive the love with someone like me. I wanted totruly thank them for making me feel so welcome in their home and theopportunities that I was able to have. When else would I have had theexperiences of fighting fires, learning Spanish, experiencing anotherculture, delivering babies in a pick-up truck, eating innards soup, orde-liceing children.
Many people who don’t understand this place or what it has done for mesay “what a sacrifice for you to have given up your job, family, andhome to come to Honduras.” Instead, I see it as a great privilege. Itis not very many people who have the freedom and security to put theirlife on hold without worries and go on an adventure for that length oftime. As happens with many volunteers, despite how hard I worked withmy nursing role and the kids, I still feel as though I received muchmore than what I gave. I now have a wonderful experience that hastaught me so much about what is truly important in life.
I think it will be take me a while after I return back to the statesand settle down a little to truly process this experience and evaluatehow it has changed me and in what ways it will continue to affect mylife. As for now, I am going to enjoy my travels. I have 4 days leftin Nicaragua, and from there I will make my way north for the next 3weeks, through El Salvador, Guatemala, and Belize, finally returningback to the USA on May 30th.
